My most recent birth story with my second daughter, Logan was much different than my birth with my first born over three years ago. The main difference was preparation. With my first birth I just assumed that I could get through it. I knew that women have natural births all the time which meant that I could too. What I didn’t realize was that I needed to do so much more than just tell myself that I could have a natural birth, I actually needed to prepare for it – mentally, physically and emotionally.
My first birth ended with an epidural and episiotomy, which I’m in no way ashamed of, but I wasn’t expecting it. All that mattered was that I gave birth to a happy, healthy baby girl.
My second birth was already bound to be different from the start simply because I was going to have a baby in a different country, the Netherlands. In general, the Netherlands has a slightly different view of birth compared to the United States and many other countries.
Birth in the Netherlands is viewed as a completely natural process facilitated by midwives (you see an OBGYN only if you have a high risk pregnancy or some other complications). The Netherlands also has one of the highest rates of home births in the world.
I had never seen a midwife before, but let me tell you how amazing midwives are. Each prenatal appointment I felt like I was the center of attention and that my midwife really cared about me and the baby. I left each appointment feeling cared for and listened to, genuinely.
My birth story began on the evening of Sunday, April 7, 2019 (10 days before my due date). All day Sunday I was cleaning and organizing like crazy (#nesting). I was in full clean mode, scrubbing bathrooms, sweeping and raking the back yard, deep cleaning our cars and making sure I had everything ready for baby #2 to arrive. I’m pretty sure I put myself into labor with all the moving and grooving I was doing that day.
The evening of April 7th I was noticing a little bit more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions. I have had lots of Braxton Hicks contractions throughout both of my pregnancies, so I didn’t think much of it. So, without too much thought I decided to get to bed early that evening around 9pm because I was feeling a little off.
While laying in bed I found myself unable to fall asleep because of the lower belly and back pain I was having. I ended up Googling what early labor contractions feel like because I had honestly forgotten, and it turns out the contractions I was feeling were starting to get real (lower back pain and tightening in my lower abdomen). They were getting stronger and I found myself having to focus on breathing through them.
By now it was around 11pm and I decided to start tracking my contractions using an app on my phone. My contractions were three minutes apart and lasted about 30-60 seconds each. After tracking for about an hour I woke up my husband at midnight and told him I thought I might be in labor.
At around 12:45am, after taking a steaming hot shower because I was having the chills, my husband convinced me to call my midwife, just in case. I did and she came over to the house to check my progress. Sure enough I was 4cm dilated and the contractions were getting even stronger, and quickly.
At this point it was around 1am on Monday, April 8th and my main concern was what we were going to do with our 3-year-old daughter, Hallie who was upstairs snoozing away. My mom had planned to be here before my due date on April 17th, but it turned out baby had her own plans and wasn’t going to wait for my mom to get here. Thankfully, I was able to get ahold of one of our good friends, Cristina here in the Netherlands to come over and be at the house while we went to the hospital. She was a serious life saver. Our next option was to wake up Hallie and take her to the hospital with us, so needless to say, Cristina being there for us was such a blessing.
Shortly after Cristina arrived at our house around 1:30am, we rushed off to the hospital. Thankfully the hospital was just five minutes down the road. At this point my contractions were continuing to get stronger and last longer. And I was having to breath heavily through each contraction to make it through.
I relied heavily on the birthing ball throughout my labor (at home and in the hospital). I leaned and swayed on it while on my knees which was the only position that I felt comfortable doing. As we arrived at the hospital I could no longer walk or stand during a contraction so I had to kneel down and lean on anything I could find until the contraction was over and I could walk to the birthing room.
Once we arrived in the hospital room, around 2am, I immediately starting relying on the birthing ball again. That position (on my knees, leaning and swaying on the ball) plus heavy breathing and positive thinking was how I was able to get through my contractions. Through each contraction I tried to think about certain things. Specific things like:
- how so many women have natural births each and every day, and I could too,
- how my body was made to give birth to a baby,
- how the strength of my contractions were a reflection of how strong my body was
- how each intense wave of pain would eventually end,
- how at the end of labor I would have a beautiful baby girl in my arms
I focused on things that I learned in the book, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (which I highly recommend, by the way), like:
- relaxing my jaw because a relaxed jaw helps relax and dilate my cervix
- breathing deeply to allow oxygen to support my uterus during contractions
- thinking of my contractions as what they are, a strong muscle contraction that is helping my baby through my birth canal
- positive birth stories from many, many other women
As my contractions continued to strengthen and lengthen my midwife told me that I could push if I started to feel the urge. I was starting to feel a major urge to push (something that I never felt with my first birth because the epidural had numbed me from the waist down.) Being able to feel the urge to push was a game changer for me. After a few light pushes my water broke. After that I moved from the floor (where I was still using the birthing ball) to the hospital bed, where I remained on my hands and knees, leaning on pillows and grasping my husband’s hand.
At this point my midwife asked if I would like her to guide me through the pushing stage or just rely on my innate ability to push. I asked her to guide me. With each contraction she told me to take a deep breath, hold my breath, and push. Before the final push my midwife told me that she thought this next push would be my last (talk about motivation!), and it was, indeed. After just seven minutes of pushing, my baby girl was in my arms — and it was the biggest relief of my life. I had the natural birth I always wanted, and I rocked it. I felt so empowered and strong.
In preparing for my labor, I had read that the pushing stage is so much better than the contractions — and I completely agree. I honestly don’t remember feeling much pain during this stage. And the ring of fire? My mind was too focused on seeing my baby girl that I either didn’t notice it being that bad, or it wasn’t as painful as other women describe.
After baby Logan was born, my midwife immediately laid her on my chest and covered us both with blankets to stay warm. After about 5 minutes I gave a light push and my midwife gently pulled on the umbilical cord to get my placenta out. I was able to feel the umbilical cord pulsing before it finally stopped and my husband, Bryce cut the cord.
Before cleaning the baby, the nurse and midwife left the room for about 45 minutes to give us time to just be together as a family. A nurse came in to help encourage baby Logan to breastfeed. She immediately latched and had a great suck which was such a relief. My first daughter struggled with latching and breastfeeding which was so discouraging being a new mom.
After about an hour the midwife came back into the room to do a quick health assessment on baby Logan, gave her an oral dose of vitamin K and weighed her at 6 pounds 14 ounces.
Bryce then dressed Logan for the first time and held her while I was able to take a shower. After my shower (and after I was able to pee for the first time since the delivery), it was time to start thinking about going home. Yep, that’s right — home! Women in the Netherlands who have uncomplicated deliveries and healthy babies typically get to go home within 4 hours of giving birth. We had baby Logan at 2:35am and were back home by 5:30am.
We arrived home at 5:30am while our 3-year-old, Hallie was still sleeping. So she went to bed on Sunday night with a baby still in her momma’s belly, and woke up a big sister!
What a wonderful surprise for her! Hallie is a natural big sis and couldn’t be more proud of her baby sis, Logan Hazel.
If I could say one thing that helped me to have a natural birth (which is something I wanted with my first birth as well), was the fact that, at every prenatal appointment, and with everything that I was reading throughout my pregnancy, a natural birth was thought to be totally doable, normal and expected — so I never had a doubt that I couldn’t have a natural birth. In addition, I filled my body with all the positive thoughts that I could regarding natural births, specifically positive birth stories and birth affirmations. I also kept my body strong by working out and/or walking daily, stretching a ton and following the Spinning Babies daily essentials stretching routine.
I went into my labor feeling prepared and strong — mentally, physically and emotionally, and it made all the difference in the world. And I felt supported by my midwife and the whole medical system in the Netherlands. I’m so grateful my experience, my strong body, my healthy baby girl, and my now family of four.
If you desire to have a natural birth, you can do it mama!
I came to look at a recipe for roasted sweet potatoes and lo and behold, got to read this amazing birth story! I’m a doula from Montreal, Canada. My mother was born at home in The Netherlands. You rocked it, Mama! Congrats!
Hi,
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