The Path to True Food Freedom (part 2)

If you haven’t read my first post all about why you should stop following food rules, then head over here first for a quick read.

Food rules recap.

What are food rules you ask? They are just like they sound. Rules around food.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that when I tell myself (or others tell me) that I have to do something or follow some specific rule, especially surrounding food, a lot of times that makes it harder to follow.

For example. Say you start a strict diet because you are just fed up and “need to lose the weight.” Okay.

You tell yourself the following:

1. no food after 7pm (even if you’re hungry)
2. less than ‘x’ amount of carbs per day (have fun tracking that)
3. no sugar (no fun)
4. only 1200 calories per day (yikes, you must be hungry)

First of all, I can’t imagine how miserable this person must feel. All she does is think about all the things she can’t do. All the things she can’t eat. All the foods she must avoid. All the rules she must follow in order to be “successful” at her short-term diet that is completely, 100% not sustainable. She’s miserable. She’s setting herself up for failure. She’s hungry, irritable and no fun to be around.

What kind of life is this? Sadly, it’s an all too common one. Because somewhere along the road we learned that this is normal behavior. And that this behavior will somehow help us reach our goals and make us happy. Newsflash — this behavior does the exact opposite. It makes us sad and doesn’t allow us to reach certain goals because they are simply unattainable or even inhumane.

The mind-body connection to food.

Okay. So by now we understand that the things that we tell ourselves about the way we eat can have negative effects. We tell ourselves that we’re not skinny enough, go on a diet, and end up being miserable. Or maybe we’re the “healthiest” we’ve ever been but all we do is obsess over healthy food vs. unhealthy food. We may look happy, but we’re not. We treat our bodies in such a way that we actually undermine the way our bodies natural flourish. We put our bodies under a tremendous amount of stress just to end up even more stressed out on the other side.

The terrible things that we say to ourselves, all the negative self talk, all the constant nagging we do to ourselves — it’s all not working. And there’s a reason.

You can’t fool yourself into thinking that eating a specific way will make you healthier, skinnier, or happier. If you feel negativity when you eat food, or when you don’t follow some food rule you’ve set for yourself, your body will react negatively.

For example. Eat that piece of cake you swore you wouldn’t touch because, of course, it’s going to completely derail you. Just try to enjoy that cake. Chances are you hate yourself with every single bite you take. Even if it tastes like the best thing you’ve ever eaten. And then you hate yourself even more after the cake is gone. Shame sets in. Guilt sets in. Even depression may creep up. All for what? Because you decided to eat a piece of cake. Think about that. Should one piece of cake be able to completely ruin your life? The answer is no. But all too often, it is yes. But why? Because we’re taught that these feelings are normal.

I’ve been there. Done that. And never even thought twice about the behavior. It felt natural and normal. But it shouldn’t. This is the reason why so many of us are either disordered eaters or have struggled with disordered eating at some point in our lives.

Or, the opposite — don’t eat that piece of cake you swore you wouldn’t touch because you know how much better you must feel by having practiced your “willpower.” Now go ahead and think about it the rest of the day. Think about how deprived you feel. Eat an apple, a bowl of crackers, a handful of nuts and a piece of chocolate instead — and still think about how you’re still not satisfied.

It goes both ways. Once you give yourself permission to eat the darn cake if you want to, and not eat it if you don’t want to, then suddenly you feel okay. You feel good. You feel great. Not because you did or didn’t eat the cake, but because it doesn’t really matter what you decide. Eat or don’t eat the cake and get on with the rest of your beautiful life.

What kind of life do we live if we are constantly trying to be someone we just aren’t meant to be? Someone who can’t enjoy food. It’s not a life.

So again. I will tell you the one thing that can and will change your relationship with food forever.

Stop following food rules.

If you want to eat the cake, eat the cake.

If you want dessert after dinner, by all means, eat the dessert.

And so on, and so on.

Get yourself to a place where you feel at peace around food and the decisions you make. And then let’s talk about nourishing your body with healthy, nutrient-dense food because you want to. And then let’s start establishing some healthy eating habits because you want to. And then let’s talk about how to order healthier foods off the menu at a restaurant — because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.

And just in case even one of you can relate, I’d like to share with you some of the food rules I happily no longer follow.

• I don’t eat veggies at every meal, and I don’t obsess over eating veggies at every meal
• I eat right before bed if I’m hungry enough to do so
• I don’t eat breakfast every morning (even though I used to preach this — p.s. it’s okay to change your mind!)
• I often don’t eat before I workout (even though everyone says you must fuel your body before a workout)
• I sometimes eat dessert or sweets before dinner (and so does my toddler)
• I sometimes eat when I’m bored or tired, rather than just waiting until my body says I’m hungry
• Sometimes I wait too long between meals and then overeat or eat too quickly at my next meal
• Sometimes I eat chips or other snacks right out of the bag instead of portioning them out into a bowl
• Sometimes I overeat to the point of a stomach ache

Okay, so I’m human. I’m not perfect. Nobody is. And who even defined what perfect eating should be anyways? Eat the foods that make you feel your best, most of the time. Avoid the foods that make you feel crummy, most of the time. Start creating healthy habits that you follow, most of the time. Don’t stock your pantry with foods that you don’t feel great about eating, most of the time. Have some guidelines and directions for how you want to live your healthiest life, but don’t obsess over it. Obsession is only going to lead you back to the diet mentality that you’ve worked so hard to forget.

Next week, and my final part 3 of this series, I’ll be talking about how to set some healthy guidelines and goals that are not all-or-nothing rules. Plus, I’ll talk about how a healthy lifestyle is not all about food — it’s about so much more than that. Stay tuned!

And if you didn’t get a chance to check out my first post in the series all about why you should stop following food rules altogether, check it out here.

You’ve got this. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself.

xoxo,

Angela